


Feelings on you

by NyluBD



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 01:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyluBD/pseuds/NyluBD
Summary: Jeremy Heere is feeling. He's feeling a lot, and he's scared."Should I jump to a swimming pool when I don't know if there's water in there?"-WARNING-English it's not my first lenguage, but I'm trying my best. I hope you can understand and enjoy.





	Feelings on you

**Author's Note:**

> -WARNING-  
> English it's not my first lenguage, but I'm trying my best. I hope you can understand and enjoy.

#  Feelings on you 

### "I love you"

How can you hide your feelings? One second, a week, two months... years. It's the hardest thing you can do. The feelings are made to scream them out loud, to show them to everyone. Always. Even if it's sadness, love, happiness or madness.

  
"I love you"

  
How can you hide that wonderful feeling? How can you not say that to the person you love? You're not going to ruin anything. Nobody is going to be mad. And you're going to make her or him smile.

  
But we are afraid.  
I'm afraid.

  
I know Michael since diapers.  
And I know he's gay.  
The only thing I don't know is if he feels the same way.

  
"I love you"  
Damn it, what a hard thing to say.

  
"I love you"  
Should I jump to the swimming pool when I don't know if there's water inside?  
Should I make this uncomfortable to us after years of friendship?  
Feelings are simple to explain and have, but hard to show and confess.

Michael is the only person I'm comfortable with.  
Michael is the only person I'm happy with.

Michael is the one who makes me smile when I'm crying.  
Michael is the one with that smile that makes smile to everyone.  
Michael is the one with the most beautiful smile.

And fuck, I can't stop thinking about him smiling.  
Not even a second, not even a week, not even a month...  
I've been doing it for years.

"I love you" I said. In front of the mirror. Thinking about him, and dreaming about the best possible answer. My face turned up red. No, I can't handle this.

"Hey Jer!" Michael was looking at me from the door, smiling, looking at my legs, almost laughing.

I realized I'm just using boxers. Boxers with rockets. Great, Heere. You're awesome.

"I can't belive you still keep them. I don't see them since first grade." He started laughing, even more louter when I put on my jeans as fast as I could.

Oh, first grade... I remember that.  
A spring afternoon. Two little kids in front of a river. Laughing, running, having fun. Being what they wanted to do and not just losers. Astronauts, football players, superheros, pirats, whatever we wanted, we had it.

That was life.

We decided that being around the river wasn't enough. We wanted to be in the river. And that's what we did. We took off our clothes, using just boxers. We jumped.

Nothing felt better than that. Never.

I'm sorry, I'm wrong.

You hugging me. You near me. You being around me. You smiling at me.

That felt better. That always do.

"The water was freezing."

"And we spent a month sneezing."

"That would be great if we were in La la land. But we were the only dumbs being sick in spring." We laughed.

"C'mon, astronaut. We're going to be late for school."

Let's be late for school. Please.  
I hate it less now that we have more friends, but I still hate it.  
Our friends are popular. Which means we're popular, too. And you don't know how much anxious I am about it.

And... I have less time with you.

"Jere?" We were in his car. I didn't noticed I've been watching him all the way to school. "It's something wrong? You didn't even move."

"Y-yeah, I was just thinking..."

"About your favorite person?" He smirked at me and I blushed.

Yes, I was.

"About a way to walk around the school without people looking at me all the time."

"Well, as always, we've been thinking about the same thing."

"I mean, the squad is great, but..."

"Too much people. I'm not used to that."

"I just hate people. How are you with... you know... that." Michael and I talked about what happened lots of times, and I know about his panic attack. I still feel like crap. And I'm worried he's having more panic attacks because of our "new life".

"I told you I'm fine, Jere..."

"Fine it's not exelent."

"If I say exelent you're going to say 'exelent it's not perfect' and we're going to have this conversation anyway."

"I'm just worried..."

"Hey. You acted like a dork, but I forgive you. The end. I'm not going to have more panic attacks, we're more than friends. Everything it's okay. Chill."

More than friends...

Damn it, I said it out loud.

"Yeah." He chuckled. "Best friends. What were you thinking about?" He smirked at me.

"Super best friends, of course."

"Sure."

"You're the gay here, not me."

"Well, one day, I'm going to say: You're the gay, Heere."

"Really bad joke. Focus on music. Comedy it's not your thing." He laughed.

"I hate you."

I love you.

"I hate you more."


End file.
